Parents can help children learn to stand up to hate. Here’s how.

“‘The first time I got called the ‘n-word’ I was standing outside my sixth-grade classroom exchanging a book from the lockers,’ says Kimu Elolia. He wasn’t prepared for the weight of the word or how it would leave him feeling paralyzed and isolated for weeks but says he “didn’t have language to explain what I was experiencing.” Elolia, 29, is the creative producer for Sonic Union and now creates podcasts for children designed to foster empathy for the Black experience, which he says will incentivize them to stand up for one another.

Helping our children understand how and why to stand up for one another is becoming more and more important. According to a 2021 U.S. Government Accountability Office report, roughly 1 in 4 students between ages 12 and 18 who experienced bullying during the 2018-2019 school year were targeted because of their race, national origin, religion, disability, gender or sexual orientation. In 2021, the FBI reported an 11.6 percent increase in hate crime incidents in the United States compared with the year before.

For tweens and teens actively exploring their identities, the spike in bias incidents is particularly significant. “Hate speech impacts the way you anticipate the world is going to see you and can begin to influence how you see yourself,” said psychologist Ryan DeLapp, director of the REACH (Racial, Ethnic and Cultural Health) Program at the Ross Center in New York City.”

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